Who's Ready for More Sex and the City Discourse?

The Group Chat is where Primetimer staffers and contributors share everything from first impressions to warring opinions on TV's biggest moments. Because everyone needs a group chat.

Get ready for another round of Cosmopolitans and discourse — all six seasons of Sex and the City are now streaming on Netflix, where they await discovery by a new generation.

At Primetimer, we couldn't help but wonder how the uninitiated will react to a show whose premise is frozen in time, despite the various efforts to update it via movies and a sequel series. So, Danette Chavez and Claire Spellberg Lustig sat down for a Group Chat about the impending debates, with some special appearances from TV critics and authors who have distinct relationships with the show. Some of us feel that you just had to be there, whether it was for the show's original run on HBO, the movie premieres, or the bowdlerized cable versions; others are only too ready for new viewers to develop their own favorites and pet peeves. To quote from a different runaway HBO hit, brace yourselves: It's time for more Sex and the City discourse.

Danette: With a sequel series, two movies, and multiple syndication deals, Sex and the City has never really gone away — and neither has the discourse around the award-winning HBO comedy. Perhaps it's just a reflection of the social media feeds I maintain, but over the last decade or so, I've seen the same old debates and questions about the show — Big vs. Aidan! Actually, Carrie was the verifiable worst! How is it possible to make $4.50/word for an article, even at Vogue?? — pop up on social media. It's become downright cyclical, almost a rite of passage when first experiencing the show, to tweet about just how aghast you are at the knowledge that Carrie spent $40,000 on shoes and then browbeat her friend into giving her the money to make the down payment on her apartment.

Though I had caught a couple of episodes on HBO during its original run, I became a SATC devotee in the late 2000s after my sister gave me her DVD collection (the pink velvet packaging is the world's greatest dust magnet), so I missed most of the original rounds of discourse. But after the series finale came those movies and the basic cable butchering of a sexually frank premium cable show, not to mention many imitators. Emily Nussbaum wrote one of the definitive pieces on the show 15 years after it first premiered, so it seems SATC will always be with us — as will the discussion around the show, which is about to get another boost, thanks to its arrival on Netflix. What do you think, Claire? Are we about to get another rush of think pieces on SATC's take on the Madonna-whore complex and listicles on who was really the worst friend out of the four?

Claire: Like you, my familiarity with Sex and the City came after the show’s initial run. I was a toddler when Season 1 premiered; when I discovered it in high school, it was through the very basic cable butcherings you speak of. I have fond memories of burning through DVD sets with friends and discovering just how different (read: better) SATC is without E!’s bizarre cutaways and the overall sanitization of Samantha’s character.

While I’m probably too young to have been involved in the first few rounds of discourse, it was impossible not to be aware of it, even in the early 2010s, a few years after the movies debuted. As you noted, now, more than a decade later, the online discussion about SATC continues — which is why I think we’re primed for yet another round of it, particularly as Gen Z viewers discover this entirely-of-its-time comedy on Netflix. But that said, I think the 2024 edition will include fewer think pieces about the show’s frank depiction of sex and more analysis, likely of the TikTok variety, about its “toxic” relationships, whether of the romantic or platonic variety. I can’t say I’m excited about it: “Toxic” has become a catch-all term, and with a show like this, one that was so instrumental in changing the way people think about single (white) womanhood and female sexual desire, I think it’s particularly useless.

What about you, Danette? Are there any topics you’re dreading reliving this time around? And are you equally concerned about how those debates will play out on platforms like TikTok?

Danette: First, I think you raise a great point about how the original show's sexual politics and depictions of relationships will be received today — there's a lot that hasn't aged well (no, bisexuality isn't "a layover on the way to Gaytown") and is bound to be put under the microscope yet again.

I'll admit, I'm skeptical that there are many new insights to be found, 20-plus years later. But in a way, I'm also looking forward to seeing people stumble upon even the old ones for the first time. One thing I don't think we need to see rehashed is whether a weekly newspaper columnist could afford to live on the Upper East Side. As journalism jobs are slashed by the hundreds by greedy owners and vulture capitalists, it's tempting to want to rail at this unrealistic portrayal, but SATC's reality is also one in which Carrie quits smoking for a guy and not over the fear of lung cancer or emphysema. COME ON NOW.

The more I think about it, the more I think I'm ready for more discourse. SATC has already had many lives, but the Netflix bump is undeniable, so the takes, they are coming. And maybe this new subset of viewers will join me in wondering why Blair Underwood's role as gorgeous sports doctor Robert Leeds didn't lead to a ton of romantic comedies. The short answer is likely "racism in Hollywood" — casting an actor of color as a bump in a white protagonist's road to "real love" is an all too familiar move — but it's still infuriating! As Robert, Underwood manages to be both sweet and dashing, vulnerable and debonair; just classic Hollywood leading man stuff. It was far from the first time that Underwood showed this potential, but SATC is one of the most influential romantic comedies of all time, and even if Miranda and Steve seemed destined to reunite, Underwood should have gone on to be a go-to romantic lead.

What about you, Claire? What topic do you think should be skipped this time around, and which do you think has yet to be explored?

Claire: Oh god, not the journalism discourse! While we’re on the topic of boyfriends (and when are we not while discussing SATC?), I’m going to pass on all things Jack Berger (Ron Livingston). I don’t want to talk about his professional jealousy and insecurities, or the ex-girlfriend he couldn’t get over, or the post-it note breakup — none of it. I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.

On the flip side, I’m excited to follow along as a new group of viewers come to terms with just how different the pilot is from everything that came after. Binge-watching on DVD is obviously a different experience than watching on Netflix, but I have a very clear memory of being stunned by the cast’s physical transformation and the shift in tone (and then forcing my friends to discuss what worked and what didn’t — I’m nothing if not consistent). Considering how far we’ve strayed from the world of pilot orders and the post-pilot waiting period, younger viewers may be unfamiliar with this process, which opens the door for some interesting conversations. Not to get all “kids these days,” of course…

We posed the same questions about what SATC discourse needs to die and what deserves new life to TV critics and authors who were either there from the beginning or caught its second (or third) iteration. Here's what they had to say: 

Jennifer Armstrong, author of Sex and the City and Us: How Four Single Women Changed the Way We Think, Live, and Love

I am super uninterested in any more talk about what Carrie can/cannot afford, her apartment, etc. While I totally understand general outrage about New York real estate and class issues, this show is quite deliberately a fantasy. I even want to make a slightly feminist argument for it: This series glamorized single-womanhood in one swoop, and I think we are the better for that in a lot of ways. These women could buy their own glass slippers, thank you. Of course, it made many of us feel badly for not being able to live up to Sex and the City standards. But please remember that it also single-handedly changed the single woman from pitiable — think of the Cathy comic strip, or even Bridget Jones, as much as I love her — into an aspirational figure. On the other hand, I hope we all, upon rewatch, finally realize that Big and Carrie are absolutely toxic together, and that no one’s Big is ever going to fly to Paris to declare his undying love. That’s the point of Big. You settle down with someone with whom you have a real, functional connection — sorry, that also means not-Aidan, in the case of Carrie! She was absolutely terrible for him. I’m not convinced, based on what I’ve seen, that Carrie has found that guy yet.

Liz Shannon Miller, Senior Entertainment Editor at Consequence

Sex and the City is a show I have watched arguably too many times all the way through, a show I first began watching on DVD in the early 2000s, before catching up to follow the series as it came to its ultimate conclusion. With 20 years of wryly affectionate fandom behind me, I feel confident in saying that while I am pretty steadfast in my opinions (Big over Aidan probably being the biggest), I embrace the idea that other people feel differently on such matters.

But the one issue I feel we as a society need to address — the one thing that still infuriates me to this day — is this: The episode "My Motherboard, Myself" is an evil, disgusting trash fire, one in which everyone is dumb, most especially Carrie for comparing her computer issues to her best friend's mother dying, and even the best moment (Miranda going bra-shopping before the funeral) is ruined by an atrocious pun: "Miranda found a kind of support that actually fit her." This is so much italicizing, but this episode is terrible, and I hope that the culture can gather together, to offer comfort to those about to watch it for the first time.

Juan Barquin, culture writer and film programmer

I think there should be a moratorium on any attempt at discussing Carrie's financial decisions; Samantha's sexuality; and the casual sexism, transphobia, homophobia, etc., of the series (though I could easily write an essay about how And Just Like That… is as bad as these critiques by virtue of foolishly overcorrecting).

On the flip side, sorry to be basic, but I would like to go on the record as saying that there has never, and will never, be enough of a discourse around how Charlotte is and always has been the best character, as well as the most willing to experiment and throw herself into things. I think I'd like to just talk about what a shame it is that so many men (and some women) get overlooked simply because of the Big Relationships. Like, we get it, you guys want to talk about Aidan or Berger again [cue eye roll].

Sex and the City is a show where Justin Theroux plays two separate characters! Where John Slattery is into piss play! Where Alanis Morissette kisses Carrie! Where Costas Mandylor (aka Saw's Detective Hoffman) is a priest Samantha wants to seduce! Timothy Olyphant has a tongue piercing! Hell, one episode even has both James Urbaniak playing a shoe salesman with a foot fetish who keeps giving Charlotte free shoes and Will Arnett as a guy who only wants to have sex with Miranda in public spaces. It's a goldmine of bit parts for performers that both have and haven't gotten their due and, while I'm sure there's plenty of listicles that I will never click saying "wHaT sTaRs WeRe On ThIs ShOw,” I never want to stop discussing how genuinely great the show was at taking the most mundane trait in a person you date and designing entire arcs around them.

Amy Amatangelo, freelance TV critic

Sex and the City 2 debuted in movie theaters on May 27, 2010. For context, that’s almost three years before the premiere of House of Cards, which kicked off the streamer’s entry into original programming, and six years prior to things like Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life becoming de rigueur. Now the minute a show ends, there’s talk of revivals and plenty of streaming platforms to give your favorite show a second life.

But when Sex and the City ended in 2004, it really did seem like we were saying a permanent goodbye to Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), Samantha (Kim Catrall) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis). To get to see them again and on the big screen in, not one, but two movies was an utter thrill, so I don’t want to relive people trashing the second movie. Who cares that Sex and the City 2, which took the four friends to Abu Dhabi, was silly? I will concede that the plot was threadbare and the cameos were far too many. The whole thing seemed like an excuse for the leading ladies to don some ridiculously fabulous outfits and a chance to see Aidan (John Corbett) low-key flirt with Carrie again. And I loved every minute of it. Walking into a movie theater 14 years ago to hang out with the four women who had been such a huge part of my young adulthood was a sheer delight and I will forever love the movie despite its many, many flaws.