Blame Love Is Blind's Rigid Timeline for AD and Clay's Breakup

Love Is Blind Season 6 was a return to form for the Netflix franchise, but it was still defined more by couples who didn't work than those who did. From the second he questioned her claim that she looks like Megan Fox, it was clear that the season's messiest duo, Chelsea Blackwell and Jimmy Presnell, were destined for disaster. Meanwhile, Laura Dadisman and Jeramey Lutinski, who's been at the center of off-camera drama, never managed to get on the same page whatsoever, whether about his Hawaiian shirts or his interest in Sarah Ann Bick, his other pod connection.

When Laura and Jeramey called off their engagement in the penultimate episode, after days of fighting about Jeramey's night of "talking" with Sarah Ann, it was hardly a surprise. Chelsea and Jimmy's breakup, on the other hand, was more of a curveball, if only because of how abruptly it happened. The two seemed to put aside their differences after their "I know you f*cked her!" argument, with Jimmy promising to "put [his] blood, sweat, and tears" into their relationship, but when he brought it up a few days before their wedding, the truth finally came out.

In the opening act of the finale, Jimmy insisted he loves Chelsea and "think[s] the world" of her, but "five or six really big issues" were preventing him from going to the altar. "That night was such a big step back that I can't fathom marrying you after that," he said, bringing their engagement to an unceremonious end.

With Laura and Jeramey and Chelsea and Jimmy handing back their rings (plus Brittany Mills and Kenneth Gorham, who broke up earlier in the season due to a lack of "crave"), only two couples headed to the altar: Amy Cortés and Johnny McIntyre, Season 6's undeniable power couple, and Amber Desiree "AD" Smith and Clay Gravesande. While Amy and Johnny coasted toward a drama-free ceremony — their biggest (and only) issue revolved around the matter of birth control — AD and Clay's fate remained more uncertain. The couple faced major roadblocks in the weeks leading up to their wedding, including Clay's fears about monogamy and their busy schedules, but it appeared that they'd worked through those problems and were heading into the big day prepared to say "I do."

That proved to be the case for AD, who vowed to "nourish" Clay's best qualities before happily saying yes to a lifetime of marriage. Clay, though, couldn't get past his issues, telling AD that while he loves her, it wouldn't be "responsible for [him] to say 'I do'" then and there. "I know fully I'm not ready for marriage, and you deserve the best. And if I'm not ready to give that 100%, I won't go there with you," he said, telling AD that he plans to "put the work in" to move forward with their relationship, just not as husband and wife.

Clay isn't the first Love Is Blind participant to believe it's possible to keep dating despite saying "no" at the altar (several couples attempted to make things work after their weddings, including Season 5's Izzy Zapata and Stacy Snyder and Season 3's SK Alagbada and Raven Ross), but he may be the most idealistic — or delusional, depending on how you look at it — about that shared future. When they met up after the ceremony, Clay told AD that it's difficult to admit he's not ready to be a husband, but he still wants to be with her. "I guess you gotta run away from me," he said, pulling AD in for a kiss that she declined to reciprocate. "I'm telling you, I'm gonna put the work in, I'm gonna go to therapy, all that stuff I said, you know?"

For obvious reasons, AD wasn't too keen on that plan. "I love him. I really do. I'm really sad that I wasn't enough for him to, like, get right," she told the camera as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I can't drag him. I can't force him. And I'm not gonna f*cking beg him to f*cking pick me. I'm done."

It's easy enough to blame AD and Clay's breakup on his fear of commitment, the direct result of his father's persistent infidelity throughout his 24-year marriage to Clay's mother. Over the course of the season, Clay repeatedly expressed doubts about his ability to be faithful to one woman, and he admitted he's "a little bit embarrassed" that he's not as "mature" as other men on Love Is Blind who have gotten married. (He doesn't specify, but he's definitely talking about Season 4's Brett Brown, right?) The signs were there that Clay would disappoint AD at the altar; she just interpreted his concerns as necessary steps in his journey of introspection and growth, rather than obstacles with the power to derail their engagement.

But Clay and AD are also victims of the show's rigid structure, which requires cast members to make a life-changing decision after just 28 days, and do so with a camera in their face. Perhaps more than any other participant in the "experiment," Clay questioned why the wedding date set by producers must "dictate" their relationship — something he brought up again at the altar, asking, "Why does it matter, like, with the timeline? Why does that matter?"

AD should never have to settle for someone who isn't ready to commit to her, but she and Clay could've gotten there, if only they were able to move at their own pace. While Clay's focus on her physical appearance in the pods was an early red flag, they moved past that moment with honesty and grace, and when they entered the real world, they seemed to have complementary outlooks and goals. (Even if AD's dream of becoming a landlord is depressing.) Clay's willingness to discuss his emotional hangups and pursue therapy also reflected his desire to get to a point where he could "lead" AD in marriage, which showed more self-awareness than anything said or done by Jeramey, Chelsea, or even bland success story Amy and Johnny.

Love Is Blind's month-long timeline, however, doesn't give participants enough freedom to find out if they're truly compatible and navigate through key issues, which is exactly what AD and Clay needed to make their relationship work. The weddings force the cast to choose between "I do" and "I don't" — and the intensity of the experience, coupled with the devastation of being rejected in front of your family, friends, and millions of Netflix viewers, makes recovering from the latter nearly impossible. It's no surprise that none of the couples who dated after their weddings are still together. The chances of finding lasting love after such a short period of time are slim enough as it is; add in a public snubbing and you have a recipe for disaster.

Maybe at the Season 6 reunion, AD and Clay will reveal they've rekindled their romance and are making a genuine go of it in the real world, away from Love Is Blind's gold chalices and looming deadlines. If that's the case, good for them, especially if it means Clay has done some maturing on his end. But whatever their future holds, AD and Clay deserved a chance to embark upon that journey on their own time, before the at-the-altar surprise and tear-filled breakup.

The Love Is Blind Season 6 reunion drops Wednesday, March 13 at 9:00 PM ET/6:00 PM PT on Netflix. Join the discussion about the show in our forums.

Claire Spellberg Lustig is the Senior Editor at Primetimer and a scholar of The View. Follow her on Twitter at @c_spellberg.